God, I’ve held on with all my might and called it prayer;
honestly, I’ve been afraid to leave it in Your care.
I said, “Your will,” but continued to hold on tight
and tried to steer You through the night.

I wanted love and peace that would remain,
a dream that was untouched by loss or pain.
I wanted indescribable joy without fear;
I couldn’t bear to think of losing what I held so dear.

You know how much I wanted it and how long I prayed for this,
the life I still reach out to hold, the dreams I long to kiss.
Don’t let me shrink what mattered just to make the sorrow small;
You saw how much I loved it, how I tried to give my all.

Here is the anger and the ache I’ve tried so hard to hide,
the smile I wore while everything was breaking deep inside.
Here is the hope I’m scared to name, still tender and still near;
I’m trusting You to hold it without asking it to disappear.

I thought that faith would mean my heart would always feel secure,
that loving You would spare me pain I’d struggle to endure.
But You have never asked me to pretend I’m making it through,
or hide the broken parts of me I’m learning to bring to You.

So sit beside me while I weep for what I could not keep;
some losses settle in the soul and leave their sorrow deep.
Uncurl my weary fingers, God, so gently, one by one;
stay close through every wave of grief because I cannot rush what isn’t done.

And if tomorrow I reach back for what I’ve given You before,
remind me I can place it in Your hands and trust once more.
Receive me with compassion as I bring my trembling heart;
help me begin again with You, however small the start.

I want to love with room to breathe, with tenderness and grace,
without asking those I love to promise they will stay in place.
Teach me to bless what comes and goes while holding each moment dear,
without demanding that it stay unchanged another year.

My palms are bare before You now, and my heart is bruised and sore;
I’m tired of trying to bargain for a life that asks no more.
But even here, with all my questions, I can offer what is true:
with open hands, I give this life I love and long for back to You.